Changes (Part 2)

So the exams are just over. All I can say is that it turned out better than expected.

AA306 Risk Reporting and Analysis was... well, surprisingly noob-ish paper. I'd think that it was the easiest accounting paper that I've took thus far, and that's not a good thing because it'll be near impossible to score a good grade. Though I scored a perfect score for quiz 1 (so did 1/3 of the cohort), I'm pretty certain my quiz 2 was terrible, probably a D+ or C at best, and there's no telling what was the score of our other components. Fingers crossed, I'll be happy with a B+ overall grade.

AA304 Auditing turned out to be rather manageable as well, which I'm thankful for as I haven't really been studying much of the entire semester, being caught up with MF 2010 and OH 2011 matters half the time I'm in school. My mid-term quiz was atrocious (D+! First D I've ever gotten in NBS, I might add). I'll also be happy if I gotten B+ too.

HP805 Intro to Human Resource Management was also freaking easy, I shouldn't have exercised the S/U option as I could have scored for this paper. HA205 Government and Politics of Singapore was also pretty manageable, I had 4 days to prepare for the paper, but I think I only spent half a day to a day really revising for it. As I've said in the earlier post, anyone who is interested and have been following Singapore politics would have no trouble completing the module.

AAI280 Improvisation was the first NIE module I took in my two years here, and it was the most enjoyable module I've ever took. Half the time, we were playing and experimenting with music, I mean, how awesome can that get! Didn't exercise the S/U option for both HA205 and AAI280 as I am saving it for the last semester, hope I can get decent/good grades for both. I just need to maintain my 2nd Uppers!

Studies aside, things for the 2011 NTU Open House are moving along very nicely. Only 3 more months to show time and there's so much to do! This would be the last SU even of my NTU life, so I really hope that it'll be a success, both behind the scenes and what people see and experience on 6 March 2011. I haven't chaired a committee in 8 years (the IBSM trip to PRD in 2007 doesn't count) and it reminded me what I've missed out on all my poly years. Events management is tiring but that's what makes it all the more fun. I don't think such an opportunity will ever come again, which was the reason why I accepted the post when Daniel (the previous chairperson) approached me.

Speaking of Daniel, he has nothing but supportive so far. Boy was I ever wrong about him, though I am not worshipping the ground he walks on, I was wrong to believe everything that Alan (the previous SU Orientation Executive) and KX (the current SU President). Don't get me wrong, I respect all of them, but I think each person's perspective of the other were drawn upon such unfounded fears and, dare I say, stupidity. It's just a complete breakdown of professionalism, and it's a sorry sight. But I'm thankful none of the three had tried to directly interfere with the way I am running my committee, as it should be the case.

Amidst all the hectic school life, I didn't even manage to maintain contact with M&N. Well, at least M and I would exchange texts once in awhile, but sad to say, the same cannot be said with N, this really speaks volumes of how much we could never be. I already knew that when I passed her book before I left for London, but throughout the course of the semester, I've grown to accept it and realise that I'm not ready myself either. Just talking things one step at the time from now. I can't see myself finding any time for a relationship, not while I'm in NBS anyway.

So that's the semester for me.

I shall recount and assess how 2010 turned out for me in my next post (and last for 2010)! 2011 is upon us!

Changes (Part 1): Safe in a crazy world?

How quickly time flies indeed. It's a really cliche phase, but it's all very true. It's truly amazing how many things change within two short months, and all of it happened so quickly I hardly had the time to breathe.

So lets try to recount them one at a time!

I've accepted the role of Chairperson for the NTU Open House 2011 Committee in the 20th Students' Union. It's kinda crazy considering that I'm a final year student. Honest to God, just two years ago in freshmen year, I wouldn't have imagined myself as part of the Students' Union. Heck, while I was in NP, I didn't even join the NP Ambassadors (their equivalent of the Students' Union), mainly because I was so into my studies. Graduating as top of the cohort came at a heavy price on my work-life balance. And I didn't want that for my undergraduate studies.

In my two years in NBS thus far, I've gotten the opportunity to do so many things that I'll be ever thankful for. I got to go on a short exchange in London for slightly less than two months, I got the opportunity to intern in Citibank under a wonderful supervisor, I've got involved in the Students' Union and got to meet and work with so many wonderful people. Life is lovely.

So on my committee, I had the opportunity to form my own people and surround myself with the people I know I will enjoy working with. It's a great feeling because I missed running events so much. Reminds me of the days while I was in NP running events together with wonderful friends like merser and qiong ping.

Speaking of events, another recently concluded event I was involved in was the NTU Ministerial Forum 2010, under the 19th NTUSU. Met many good friends (and poached a few over to my NTU OH 2011 committee as well. Haha!) and worked on an event related to an area of interest. Politics in Singapore.

And speaking of politics, one module I took this semester is the Government and Politics of Singapore. It's a very insightful module and it's kinda interesting to make comparisons to how political science modules are taught in NTU and LSE. What I find intriguing is how such a topic under the "Political Science" domain in LSE, while in Singapore, it's under the domain of "Public Administration".

Though I learnt quite a lot in this module, I didn't feel very challenged by the module in terms of content. Honestly speaking, anyone who already has a keen interest in Singapore politics and regularly read the papers would find this module a breeze because it doesn't teach you something you don't already know. Which is why I feel a tad bit disappointed because I was hoping the module would be conducted much like how LSE does it: Get in the theoretical framework, bring in the empirical evidence and teach from there. Instead, many of our lectures turned out to be history lessons and summary of newspaper articles. Anyone who have read Lee Kuan Yew's autobiography would ACE this module. Seriously.

Speaking of studies, I think I'd better get started with my revision for a quiz.

This entry will be continued!

a new challenge

So I started my 10-week journey under the Citi Associate Programme. As much as I worry about what's to come, long hours, hard work and all that jazz, I am very much excited about the prospects and the learning involved in the programme.

Being a student does has its privileges. For one, I can travel to work on public transport using student rates! This is probably the last time I'll be able to do that. Most of all, if we do well enough under this programme, we will be accelerated into the Management Associate Programme selection process. So that's a pretty cool prospect and motivation to work for.

As I begin the summer break with this attachment, I am amazed about how 2010 is turning out to be every time I stop to take stock.

It started with a bang, with a trip to Hong Kong for 5 days. The semester started next and it has been one helluva semester even though we only took 4 modules. 4 insane modules, I might add. March was when we had the NTU Open House, to see months of planning coming to fruition is an unbelievable feeling, one that I never seem to get tired off. Which is why I am excited to embark on an community project under the Citi Associate Programme from scratch, and we are only given a month to put everything together!

With the exams concluding the semester, came the internship with Citibank. Till this day, I am ever grateful to be given this opportunity to expand my horizons, under a good programme. I just have to constantly remind myself that over the course of the next 10 weeks when the going gets tough.

Beyond the internship, July would be another crazy month too. There's this LSE Asia Investment Banking Conference in Singapore from 5-6 July that I am planning on going, but registration for the event is 70 pounds. But the list of speakers are certainly worth paying the money for. Then, there's my sister's graduation ceremony on July 11. I missed my elder sister's grad ceremony while I was in NS and I sure as hell won't be missing my younger sister's one!

The CA programme ends on 16 July, and there'll be an individual presentation to senior management the following week (outside of the agreed programme schedule). And on 23rd July, I'll (hopefully) be attending the Jay Chou concert in Singapore! I can't believe I managed to get the tickets given that so many others didn't managed to. And it's all thanks to Reene!

And I say hopefully attending, its because I'll be (again, hopefully) attending the LSE Summer School from 26th July onwards. After much deliberation, I've applied last Friday and will be hearing from them real soon, judging from what my friends told me, it's 4 business days. So whether I attend Jay's concert will ultimately depend on my flight schedule.

Of course, the LSE Summer school conflicts with my YOG volunteering schedule. I have yet to tell the organising committee of my intentions to attend the summer school because I've not been offered yet. I sure hope I can still volunteer in some way and capacity other than a volunteer leader. But I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Am hoping that the LSE lessons and probably a one week vacation in UK will refresh me well enough for the brand new semester in September, where it all begins again. In October, I'll be involved in my last project for the Students' Union - the Ministerial Forum 2010. This year's guest is the Senior Minister Goh Cheok Tong! Woo. Should be quite an event.

By the time the semester is over, it's pretty much the end of the year and Christmas rolls around again! Hopefully by that time, I will be able to look back at 2010 and say that it has been a fruitful and amazing year.

those passing lives

This is the first post here, that is redirected from my old site. I've finally decided to move.

A lot have happened since I last wrote online. I have changed considerably, people around me changed considerably. I became a lot more brave, and I came to embrace life and those around me more.

April 22 this year came and went. One year had passed and we are all moving on with our lives. Grandpa's apartment will be sold and with that, hopefully, we can finally get some closure and move on.

But I know deep down, I won't be able to move on so easily. I cried when 22 April came, the exact hour when he passed. I cried because of I saw images of my mom wailing when she found out the news. I cried because of the way I answered the call from my grandaunt, thinking it was some prank call at 3AM in the morning. I cried because I never got to say goodbye to him in my own special way. I cried because I only seem to see him once a year during Chinese New Year and not spending more time with him. I cried because he was the one holding the entire extended family together with his gatherings and prayer occasions. I cried because of so many unquantifiable reasons. I cried because I still miss him after one year.

But at the same time, I smiled. I smiled in comfort that he is now in a better place. I smiled because I know he is looking over me every day. I smiled because he believed (and still believe) that I was meant to do great things in life. I smiled because I know he is with Grandma now. He always seemed so sad whenever we commemorate grandma's passing, so I know he is in a better place with eternal bliss.

These past few months leading up to the examinations have been a pretty heavy period. Though a lot of things do not impact me directly, it happened to my friends. And it affected me quite a lot. It seems that a lot of people are leaving us over the last few months, none of them I know directly. But in one way or another, it happened to my group of friends whom I am closest to in school, and it's hard to ignore these things. With no one to turn to (or rather, no opportunity and time to unload) I'm back here again.

First, J's grandma passed away some two months back. He didn't really mentioned it too much, perhaps we were in the midst of all the craziness in school with the assignments, projects and all. I asked if he was okay, he gave me the affirmative, but I know deep down, he's probably hurting. One year one, the pain of grandpa's passing is ever so raw. I can't say I understand how he feels now, but I can certainly relate to it.

Then, just two days ago, C's friend's sister, Melissa Toh, left us. She took her own life. She was only 19. Though I don't know Melissa, I can only imagine what she was going through, what her last thoughts were, and how the family is left grieving. Again, I can only take comfort in the fact that she is in a better place, in God's embrace. As I read blogs, testimonials and messages dedicated to her, I can't help but be amazed at the number of lives she has touched in the 19 years she walked on God's green Earth.

Melissa's sister, Sharmaine, is a fellow NBS undergrad, she was due to take her exams with all of us. As a result of Melissa's passing, she put everything on hold and will now have to sit for the exams next semester. But that is probably the least of her concerns now. I can't even bring myself to imagine how her parents feel now. They must be devastated.

On the same day, C's uncle passed away while in China. Though she wasn't close to her uncle. I can only, once again, imagine what she is going through and how she is holding everything together. Grandpa passed away on the day of my last paper last year, all these happened while we are right in the middle of the examination period.

I just want to say that my thoughts and prayers are with J, C, Sharmaine, all of their families and everyone who is going through the same predicament right now. Granted, their stories are just one in a million others.

Many times, we simply do not embrace life enough. People enter and leave our lives every minute, if only we can take a minute or two to get to know each and every one of them. The world will be a better place. If only...

What's wrong, whats getting you down

Is it something I might have said?

You're walking around

with your head to the ground

and your eyes are watery red

I know you've been through tough times

Kicked around, thrown to the ground

but you've always been the strong one

So don't tell me that nobody gets you

'cause I'm standing in your corner

Knocking at tour door

You don't have to be alone

Just call my name

Let me be an answer

'cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter my friend

'Shelter' Corrinne May